Get ready for a laugh, a cringe, and maybe a little secondhand embarrassment! This list rounds up the most hilariously horrible pick up lines, including some epic fails, the worst of the worst, and even a few that went so wrong, they’re kind a right. Perfect for anyone looking for a good chuckle, some cringe-worthy inspiration, or just a reminder that sometimes, it’s okay to miss the mark!
Top Horrible Pick Up lines
- Are you a time bomb? Because my heart is racing, and I’m about to explode!
- Is your name Netflix? Because I could binge-watch you all night long… even if you get boring.
- Are you a microwave? Because you make my heart race… but I’m still too cool for you.
- Are yo u a haunted house? Because you give me chills… but I’m still curious.
- If you were a fish, you’d be a “cute-cod” … but I don’t like seafood.
- Are you a parking lot? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you, but I can’t find a spot.
- Do you believe in ghosts? Because my heart just got haunted!
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a “bad apple”… but I’d still take a bite.
- Are you a cupcake? Because you look sweet, but I’m on a diet.
- Do you have an umbrella? Because it looks like you just showered me with compliments… that I didn’t ask for.
- Is your dad a gardener? Because you’re growing on me… but I’m allergic to pollen.
- Are you a wifi signal? Because I can’t seem to connect… even with a strong password.
- If beauty were a crime, you’d be serving life… but I’d still plead innocent.
- Are you a snowflake? Because I can’t seem to catch you… and you melt too quickly.
- Is your name GPS? Because you’re leading me in circles… and I’m getting dizzy.
- Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase my past and start over… without you.
- Are you an onion? Because you make me cry… and I’m not even chopping you.
- If you were a superhero, you’d be Captain Obvious… but I’d still want an autograph.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling weak, and I don’t want to be disconnected.
- Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, my hopes disappear!
Worst Horrible Pick Up Lines
- Do you like spicy food? Because you’re making my heart race… but I’m not ready for the burn.
- Are you a pillow? Because I want to rest my head on you… but I might suffocate.
- Is your name Shampoo? Because you’re making my hair stand up… and it’s not a good look.
- Are you a road trip? Because I want to take you places… but I might get lost.
- If you were a book, you’d be a bestseller… but I might not read the last chapter.
- Do you have a sunburn? Because you’re looking a little red… but I still think you’re hot.
- Are you an artist? Because you’ve painted a smile on my face… but it’s a little crooked.
- If you were a potato, you’d be a couch potato… and I prefer fries.
- Is your name Starbucks? Because I’d like to espresso my feelings… but I’m a tea drinker.
- Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears… and I feel awkward.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a “cute-cumber”… but I prefer broccoli.
- Are you a snowstorm? Because you’ve got me all flustered… but I hate the cold.
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for… but you keep crashing.
- Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my heart falling for you… and I need stitches.
- If you were a burger, you’d be a “happy meal”… but I’m still hungry.
- Are you a light bulb? Because you brighten my day… but I don’t want to get shocked.
- Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout… and I’m on the ropes.
- If you were a car, you’d be a lemon… but I’d still take you for a spin.
- Are you an elevator? Because you make my heart rise… but I’m scared of heights.
- If looks could kill, you’d be a weapon… but I’m not ready to get hurt.
Hilariously Horrible Pick Up Lines
- Is your name Spaghetti? Because you’re making me feel saucy… but I don’t want to get tangled.
- Are you a traffic light? Because you make me stop and stare… and that’s not safe.
- If you were a tree, you’d be a “fine-apple”… but I prefer palm trees.
- Is your name Snickers? Because you’re satisfying… but I’m trying to cut down on sugar.
- Are you a diary? Because I want to write about my feelings… but I’m afraid of your secrets.
- If you were a dessert, you’d be a “pie in the sky”… but I prefer cake.
- Are you a jigsaw puzzle? Because you’re confusing… and I don’t want to force the pieces together.
- If you were a song, you’d be “Hotline Bling”… because I’m not calling you.
- Is your name McDonald’s? Because I’d like to order you up… but I’m watching my calories.
- Are you an astronaut? Because you’ve taken my heart to the moon… but I’m not a fan of space.
- If you were a key, you’d be a master key… but I don’t want to unlock anything.
- Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, I lose track of time… and it’s making me late.
- Is your name Ice Cream? Because you’re giving me brain freeze… and I’m lactose intolerant.
- If you were a game, you’d be “Monopoly”… because I’d never win you over.
- Are you a volcano? Because you’re about to erupt… and I’m not ready for the lava.
- Is your name Casanova? Because I see you flirting… but I’m not falling for it.
- Do you like cheese? Because I’m feeling a little cheesy… but I prefer crackers.
- If you were a star, you’d be a shooting star… because you’re here for a moment, then gone.
- Are you a rollercoaster? Because you make me feel dizzy… but I’m afraid of heights.
- If you were a sandwich, you’d be a “subpar” one… but I’d still take a bite.
Painful Horrible Pick Up Lines
- Are you a science experiment? Because you’ve got my heart racing… but I’m not ready for a reaction.
- Is your name Burger King? Because you’re making me crave fast food… but I’m on a diet.
- Do you have a time machine? Because you make me want to go back in time… to avoid this moment.
- If you were a plant, you’d be a cactus… because I can’t get too close.
- If you were a music genre, you’d be “Easy Listening”… because I’m not too interested.
- Is your name Salad? Because you’re making me feel guilty for not eating healthier.
- Do you have a fire extinguisher? Because you’re making me feel hot… and I might catch fire.
- If you were a time zone, you’d be “Confusion” because I can’t keep track of you.
- Are you a dessert? Because I want to have my cake and eat it too… but I’m too full.
- Is your name IKEA? Because I’m confused by your instructions… and I need help assembling my feelings.
- If you were a smartphone, you’d be an old model… because I’m looking for an upgrade.
- Are you a snowman? Because you’re looking a little “chilly” today.
- If you were a candy bar, you’d be a “Nut Bar”… and I’m allergic to nuts.
- Do you have a name, or can I just … until I forget you?
- Is your name Spotify? Because you’re a little offbeat… and I’m not vibing with you.
- If you were a weather forecast, you’d be partly cloudy… because I’m expecting rain.
- Are you a dessert topping? Because I want to drizzle you on my sundae… but I’m not a fan of sprinkles.
- If you were a color, you’d be beige… because you’re a little bland.
- Are you a shooting star? Because I can’t wish for you… and you’re gone too quickly.
- Is your name Fanta? Because I prefer Coke… but you’re still refreshing.
Epic Horrible Pick Up Lines
- If you were a spice, you’d be salt… because you’re a little too much for me.
- Do you have a sunburn? Because you’re glowing… but I don’t want to get burned.
- If you were a character from a movie, you’d be the sidekick… because I’m not interested in the main story.
- Are you a food truck? Because I can’t seem to find anything I like on your menu.
- Is your name ‘Late Night TV’? Because I can’t stay awake long enough to watch you.
- If you were a season, you’d be winter… because I’m not ready for the cold.
- Are you a bad pun? Because you’re making me groan… but I can’t help but laugh.
- If you were a drink, you’d be warm milk… because you’re comforting, but I’d prefer coffee.
- Do you have a compass? Because I’m feeling lost around you.
- Are you a cloud? Because I’m floating on air… but it’s about to rain.
- If you were a trend, you’d be a fad… because you’re not going to last.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I feel a connection… but it keeps dropping.
- Are you a backseat driver? Because you’re always telling me what to do… and it’s annoying.
- Are you a time zone? Because you keep making me late.
- If you were a filter, you’d be “just okay” because you don’t quite do the trick.
- Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection, but it’s probably weak.
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “fine” written all over you… but I can’t pay it.
- I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you, but I’m really cold.
- Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more… but I’m scared of getting burned.
- Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams, and you seem like a nightmare.
Horrible Pick Up Lines Gone Wrong
- Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you… and I’m also allergic to you.
- Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout… and I’m still standing.
- Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future… in a restraining order.
- If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity… but I have to leave soon.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see… on a bad day.
- Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for… except a personality.
- Can I take you out for dinner? Because I can’t cook, and I’m really hungry.
- Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re da balm… for my chapped lips.
- Are you a beaver? Because daaaaam! But seriously, what do you do for fun?
- Do you believe in fate? Because I was supposed to meet someone just like you… 10 years ago.
- Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life… in a very confusing way.
- Is your name Dunkin? Because I donut want to live without you… but I’ll probably have to.
- If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable… but I’m allergic to poultry.
- Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes… but I don’t think I’ll find my way out.
- Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te… but you’re probably not good for my health.